This is a short post on what matters most in marriage: the heart.
I talked today for a long time with a dear friend who is going through a challenging time in her marriage. I would like to share some wisdom she passed along to me. I asked specific questions. I wanted to know from her, what would you say to me now, at this stage of marriage and ministry? What do you see now in hindsight that you didn’t catch at the time? What do you wish you had known/prioritized at my stage in life?
I want to be diligent to protect my marriage as best I can. It is easy to get complacent and wrapped up in kids, work, ministry, hobbies, and forget to do the things you did in the beginning. Forget to prioritize the things that matter most to your intimacy as a married couple.
Here is what she shared with me. I’d like to share it with you.
- Tend to your hearts.
- Talk about sex.
- Verbalize affirmations of what you see in him as a person.
- See his ministry (or work) with your own eyes and tell him the good things you see about his leadership.
I could elaborate on these things, and maybe I will in a later post. But I think the simplicity of reading them as a list allows each one to stand on it’s own. You draw your own implications and applications of these . . . If you were to write the explanation, what would you write? Which are you lacking in? Which of these did you used to prioritize as a wife but have gotten lazy, distracted, or self-focused?
For me this is a really good opportunity to check my own heart. I’m processing these things myself. There is always room to grow as a wife. There is no standing still. We are either moving toward our husband or away. Soon I’ll post some of my own thoughts and applications.
Above all else, guard your heart; for it is the wellspring of life. -Proverbs 4:23